Mr. Wendal

Have you ever met Mr. Wendal?  Hes a really nice guy, in fact hes the smartest brother  I have ever met.  Heres the problem is not only a freaking bum on the streets, but hes black and gay.  Now listen here folks, I mean this might offend some of yas, but w/e! Go screw yourselfs, you sensitive lil bastages!  So heres the problem in any given day in white America its already bad to be black, I mean I know, its a lil insensitive, but hey its the truth.  I mean i know what your thinking just offer them some Kool-aid and its them off your shoulders, well heres a storm buster for ya, dont htink its racist, not all black people like kool-aid or grape soda.  They drink water too i mean look at Tiger woods he has his own Gatorade right?  Well hold on everyone ur gonna tell me that Tiger woods aint black???!  Well apparantly hes half which is why he gets accepted.  I remember back in the day when if they found that u were 1/8 black, it was tars and feathers for you!  Not good times so i guess for all intent purposes we have uped the minimum to 1/2 for those who dont know math its 50% Woot alright come on down halfies!  Anyway im off topic, the point is that it sux being black, it sux being gay and it sux being a bum.  Imagine what all the staticians over at UCLA are thinking.  Woot we have finally did it after all that analysis we knew we would find the one!  Well there you have it a statistical anomoly of all kinds now imagine what would happen if they found out he didnt smoke crack…

Girls…

Do you girls ever listen to the words that come out of your mouth.  Today i was at work and im typing up reports like im supposed to and then my coworker comes up to me and says man I need a pad cuz im on my rag.  EXCUSE ME???  seriously thats not something I need to know or want to know!  Hey you and I are cool, but thats where it ends okay HOMIE!  If I wanted to know about your rag I would ask you if I were to have a sex change!  Forget it, if you and I were dating, actually come to think about it, please do tell me your on ur rag, cuz that means that this month were still safe!  One more month without a booboo!  Now thats something worth sharing, just share with me that your not prego!  Thats all I gotta know.  So as Jay-Z once said, “girls girls girls, girls I do adore, so put your number on this paper cause I would love to date ya….”  i know at this point it seems random, but heres the next quote from jay-z, bare arms with me, “….dont be jealous, thats a female trait…”  see what i mean!  Girls get it right, or do me a favor keep ur rag in Venus or shave with a Venus or something or other.  Peace.

Nigga Please

Aight, so I was watching the news the other day and guess what?  I realized that we have a black man running for president!!!  What?? personally I dunno if anybody else has noticed, but I think hes an undercover white man!  Seriously there is no nigga bone in his body whatsoever!!  Anybody else notice him dancing???  He dances like a white man, that boy needs to get crunk!  Anyway run and check you tube and do a barrack dancing and you will see it, but then do me a favor and search nigga dancing and then ur gonna see what a nigga looks like when hes getting down.  Think of your chris browns and your ushers.  Anyway somebody gotta face Barrack and say NIGGA PLEASE!!!